Bloody Dumb: Are you in stress ?

It was just a small stress experiment to stimulate your brain !

What are the series of events or feelings that your brain goes through when someone called you dumb?

1- You suddenly got intimidated

2- Unconsciously, the verbal abuse that you heard got on to your nerves and your brain reacted to it.

3- Probably by saying the same thing back to whoever it came from.

4- Ultimately you got on to the same level as the other to put up a fight.

Now hold on for a moment and ask these few questions to yourself.

1- When someone tells/calls you something, do you actually become that?  

2- Does the other person know you, better than you?

3- Did you make it actually better by reacting to the situation with anger?

Well these are just a few emotions that the human brain experiences whenever it is in a stress situation.

I came across this interesting theory about the reptilian brain (a part of the human brain which actually didn’t evolve from the reptiles ), that gets activated when one is in a stress situation. These generally are scenarios where

In such a scenario there are 3 kinds of ways in which the reptilian brain directs your response/ reaction:

1- You either counter your opponent by putting up a fight, which most often is instigated by anger and impulsive nature. Or

2- You tend to flee/ run away if the opponent seems to be at a higher advantage. This more often is a resultant of perceived fear of something adverse.

3- You tend to freeze and just get into a corner and reserve themselves. In the process they feel very low as well.

Let’s get a deeper view about these stress responses and the better way to deal with them:

As we saw the three reptilian brain stress scenarios which you easily get into are:

1- Fight 

2- Flee

3- Freeze

Now, what exactly happens during the above events:

1- Fight Stress Scenario 

In this particular stress moment, people tend to raise their voice, try stand tall (to make their opponent seem smaller), show impatience, eyes are either staring, squinting and frowning is common too. The tension which builds up tends to show up in the neck and jaw area, as a result the blood starts to gush faster in your veins and the human blood pressure tends to rise too.

All that one tries to do here is overpower the other and prove dominance. Therefore, there would be evident arguments and if the opposite party also shows similar behavior, then the scenario only escalates and gets more worse. 

Now, the question is how should you deal with such a scenario?

What should you do so that the person exhibiting the fight stress shouldn’t get more stressed.

Some few things which you can try to help ease out the situation might be as follows:

1- Do not try to overpower the other

2- Undermining or demean the other in that situation would only escalate the stress even more. Hence, avoid the same.

3- Don’t laugh and try humor, as it might act only as a dose of sarcasm which is the least you should do during the moment of fight stress. 

4- While facing a person with fight stress, don’t be sluggish or slow because it will only annoy the other even more.

And now since you saw a few things which you should avoid, let’s look at a few things which you should probably do during this scenario:

1- Some wise person once said,” choose your battles wisely”.  Moreover in doing so you would realize that, only a few of them are worth fighting. So if you do not show any resistance, the other calms down eventually in due course of time.

2- Listen to the other without interruption.

3- If there were certain aspects where you were at fault, accept it. And if there is something which you would like the other to know, speak it out in an amicable way by putting it across in an amicable way

4- You can discuss and offer few options to solve the issue where the interests of both the parties are balanced. However, during the conversation always speak to the point   ( so as the same is supported by actual facts ).

2- The Flee Stress: Reptilian Brain Scenario

The flee scenario is about escaping the scenario. In a such a situation the opposite would avoid making an eye contact. They might also show restlessness with respect to their hands and legs such as shaking feet, fiddling with hands/fingers, scratching, or any repetitive movements. The breathing would be fast and sweating may also accompany. Here the person is only looking to get out of the scenario no matter what. 

Things which would only cause the restless to increase in the person include:

1- Abruptly asking the other to calm down without addressing the cause of it. It would only serve as another forced instruction which the opposite would be in the least mode to follow.

2- Questioning the person might only result in making the other more confused and increase restlessness.

3- Try not to shout, provision, try to frighten, threaten, compel or show authority. As such a behavior would only build up the inner attitude of rebel in the opposite without actually listening to the actual intended message and would only result in more of negative outcomes which would not help.

What you can actually try instead to instill the sense of confidence and more decisiveness in the other to face situations might include:

1- Inviting then to an open conversation and listen to what they have to say. Open ended questioning might help in this scenario.

2- Discuss options and let them choose from them. Therefore, instilling the sense of decisiveness and ownership in them.

3- Giving them reassurance with probable scenarios which have worked out for good. Invite and participate in thinking out of the box. You might try exploring some activity to workout some solutions as well.

4- Humor and laughter might serve just the right kind of medicine to lighten the mood.

3- The Freeze Stress Scenario

This condition basically makes you feel all the more low and depressed. The condition is backed with low self confidence, fear of the situation and loss of hope. Here you might exhibit physical postures such as drooping shoulders/ head, crouching in a corner or in your place, sitting low to avoid eye contact or sight, folding hands or hugging urself such as reserving yourself, looking down, covering face, talk with low voice and slow. The communication here are mostly reserved with small or short sentences/ words. In short they get very submissive and no interest in anything.

What might not help them too much during such stressed scenario include:

1- Asking them to be bold and cheer up or force try to instill confidence is only going to trigger the reptilian brain stress scenario even more. All that the person here is actually looking for is a support, shelter or someone to be along to hand hold to show the way.

Instead what you can do to get them back to normal may be:

1- Get along with the person and be together.

2- Try get to the level of the person in freeze state where the other person can perceive you to be along.

3- While the interest to talk during this scenario is less, so instead a warm hug or a hand on the shoulder in reassurance and company might help better. You can try to guide the other to show the way ahead.

4- Reassure the other and try offer a helping hand without an obligatory expectation. In the way the other person might feel the support and shelter of care that you try to provide. You might try to put across small objectives and goals which are achievable for the other so as to instill more confidence.

In the end, it’s all about handling the scenario to make it better and help the other come out of that reptilian brain stress scenario and be successful in one’s life.

Every human is different and to make it a better place is needed to support one another and work things together with positivity.

Hope this helped exploring a few perspectives of human behavior, to understand and respond to them in a better way for good.

Do share your feedback and perspectives to make the thread more rich for others to gain from !